There would be many people thinking, “How is living with an opposite-sex friend?”
You can live with a friend of the opposite-sex as long as you don’t care about her/him being the opposite-sex. However, the majority of people still think, “No, it’s impossible,” and you still have a lot to worry about.
But if you live with a good friend even if s/he is the opposite-sex, you can live with some benefits such as feeling more secure, and also it’s easy to pass tenant screening.
So, we introduce the following in this article.
・ The pros and cons of living with a friend of the opposite-sex
・ Things you should know before you live with a friend of the opposite-sex
・ The characteristic of people who are suited for living with a friend of the opposite-sex
Also, we introduce a sharehouse as a way of communal life for men and women, and please refer to it as well.
First, let’s check the pros of living with a friend of the opposite-sex!
The pros of living with a friend of the opposite-sex #1: Security-wise, you feel safer
You feel safer in living with a friend of the opposite-sex.
The biggest concern of women living alone is that being a target of burglars, robbers, stalkers, and knickers bandits. Thus, many women living alone intentionally hang men’s underwear out, use masculine colors for curtains, and so on.
Even though it’s shared-rooms, you feel more secure because someone is there when you go home if you live with a friend of the opposite-sex. Especially if you are a woman, the possibility of being a target of a sex crime can be reduced by living with a man.
Also, even if you run into trouble on the way home, it’s reassuring to know that you can ask him for help once you get back home.
If you are a woman looking for a roommate, we recommend you to live with a man.
The pros of living with a friend of the opposite-sex #2: Easy to rent a room
It tends to be easier for a man and a woman to rent a room together than renting a room with two women because it’s treated as a couple.
This is because sharing rooms is more likely to result in a sudden move out compared to living alone.
For example:
・ Suddenly cancel sharing rooms due to a fight/quarrel
・ Cannot pay rent for two because the other one got a boy/girl-friend and moved out
Many landlords hesitate to give you permission to move in if you tell the landlord that you are going to share rooms.
On the contrary, a man and a woman who share rooms are treated as a couple, it’s easier to be accepted. You cannot lie and say, “We are a couple,” but you are more likely accepted than sharing rooms with a friend of the same-sex.
As a result, it’s easier to get permission to rent a room from the landlord and won’t take much time to find a room.
The pros of living with a friend of the opposite-sex #3: You can talk about your relationship
If you live with a friend of the opposite-sex, you can ask for help when you are struggling in a relationship.
You can talk with a friend of the same-sex if you just want to speak out your feelings. But, it’s hard for the friend to answer to the question like, “I want to know what my partner think,” and “What about feelings and thoughts of the opposite-sex?”
By talking with a friend of the opposite-sex, it becomes easier to understand the feelings of your partner or a person who you like. Especially when you want to know their feelings and why they are acting the way they are, the friend can speak for them because they are the same-sex.
As a result, your relationship would go smoothly.
So far, we introduced the pros of living with a friend of the opposite-sex, but there are the cons. We will explain in more detail next.
The cons of living with a friend of the opposite-sex #1: Pay attention to what you wear
If you live with a friend of the opposite-sex, you would constantly mind what you wear.
Unless you are very good friends with her/him, you cannot walk around naked in front of her/him. Some people feel uncomfortable if a woman wearing only camisole walks around a room.
It’s necessary to be considerate of others, e.g., what you wear, in shared-spaces such as the living room and kitchen.
As a result, you might feel less private space though you are at home.
The cons of living with a friend of the opposite-sex #2: If s/he gets a boy/girl-friend, sharing rooms needs to be canceled
Sharing rooms with a friend of the opposite-sex might be canceled if you or her/him gets a boy/girl-friend.
Even if you or s/he don’t doesn’t care that much, your or her/his partner would say, “I don’t feel comfortable with you living with a friend of the opposite-sex.” In that case, most people think of the partner and cancel sharing rooms. Although you and a person who you share a room with are just friends, you may not be able to share a room all the time.
Some people start a relationship from sharing rooms with a friend of the opposite-sex and get married to her/him. It happens only both of you are single. If one of you guys gets a boy/girl-friend, sharing rooms gets canceled in most cases.
If a rule that sharing rooms will be canceled if one of you gets a boy/girl-friend is established at the beginning, you can avoid trouble, such as a sudden cancellation of sharing rooms.
Also, it’s common to be opposed to sharing rooms if you or your friend of the opposite-sex have a partner when you start sharing rooms in the first place. Besides that, it would be hard to get an understanding from your parents and family, so it’s even tough to get started.
The cons of living with a friend of the opposite-sex #3: Fight over how to use a toilet and bathroom
Men and women use a toilet and bathroom differently, and this is a point where fights and problems can easily develop.
For example,
・ Toilet easily gets dirtier since men stand and use it
・ Bathroom drain gets clogged up with women’s hair
A toilet and bathroom are shared-spaces and used every day. Many people want to keep them clean and constantly care, so fights can easily develop.
Also, problems such as sexual harassment and sex crime could arise, women have more disadvantages in sharing rooms with a friend of the opposite-sex. You should be careful in choosing who you live with and must choose a friend who you can totally trust.
So far, we introduced the cons of sharing rooms with the opposite-sex. You might be able to avoid the disadvantages if you know some key points. We will tell you more about it next.
Things you should know before you live with a friend of the opposite-sex
Please be careful of the following things when you live with a friend of the opposite-sex.
[Trouble prevention]
・ Establish rules in sharing rooms with a friend of the opposite-sex
・ Do not interfere much in each other’s private
・ Tell the friend as soon as when you get a boy/girl-friend, and proceed with moving out
・ It would be more comfortable if you live with a friend of the opposite-sex rather than a stranger
[Stress prevention]
・ Don’t be too loose in what you wear even if you live with a friend
・ Constantly check if a toilet and a bathroom are dirty
・ Don’t share housework based on sex/gender
The most key point is to establish rules. If you establish rules such as sitting down to pee and dispose of hairs right after getting out of a bathroom, you can avoid trouble.
The characteristic of people who are suited for living with a friend of the opposite-sex
After reading this far, you would feel sharing rooms with a friend of the opposite-sex is really hard to do. But, it will be a fun way of living for people who are suited for this kind of lifestyle.
The characteristic of people who are suited for living with a friend of the opposite-sex are:
・ Easy going and big-hearted
・ Understand and respect other’s perspective and value
・ Have decent vitality, such as doing things by her/him-self
You live with a friend of the opposite-sex as friends, not lovers. Friends are only strangers to each other, so you have to do your own things.
Also, even if you are friends, each background is different. Everyone has their own perspective and values, so not understanding/accepting the difference leads you to fight and trouble.
You can have a smooth room-share life if you accept, respect, and live with other’s perspectives and values.
On the contract, the following people are not suited for room-share:
・ Dependent
・ Stubborn
・ Disrespectful to other’s perspective and value
The above applies in both cases, whether you are sharing rooms with a friend of the opposite-sex or a friend of the same-sex. Especially the difference in perspective and value tends to be bigger in sharing rooms with a friend of the opposite-sex, so it’s absolutely necessary to understand other’s perspectives and values.
Basically, sharing rooms would go smoothly as long as you understand the things above, but still it ends up with the cancellation of sharing rooms sometimes.
You need to know some tips to end sharing rooms smoothly.
Sharehouse is recommended for living with people of the opposite-sex
So far, we talked about sharing rooms with a friend of the opposite-sex. We also recommend a sharehouse if you want to live with people of the opposite-sex.
A sharehouse is a way of living together in a house with strangers. Although you live with strangers, dangerous people cannot move in since a staff of a management company does tenant screening throughout a house viewing.
You can start a communal life smoothly since a sharehouse has already established rules, private rooms with a key, and furniture/home appliances.
Also, it gives an opportunity to make friends since most of the residents are strangers to each other. Moreover, you don’t live with them in the same room, it’s easy for your girl/boy-friend to understand your living environment/situation.
You can enjoy a communal life while clearing the disadvantages of sharing rooms.
Summary: There are many advantages such as security and ease of tenant screening in sharing rooms with a friend of the opposite-sex
We explained about sharing rooms with a friend of the opposite-sex in this article.
To recap, sharing rooms with a friend of the opposite-sex has the following pros:
・ Security-wise, you feel safer
・ Easy to rent a room
・ You can talk about your relationship
Also, as the key points for avoiding trouble and stress, we introduced the following 7 key points:
・ Establish rules in sharing rooms with a friend of the opposite-sex
・ Do not interfere much in each other’s private
・ Tell the friend as soon as when you get a boy/girl-friend, and proceed with moving out
・ It would be more comfortable if you live with a friend of the opposite-sex rather than a stranger
・ Don’t be too loose in what you wear even if you live with a friend
・ Constantly check if a toilet and a bathroom are dirty
・ Don’t share housework based on sex/gender
If you live as being conscious of the key points above, you should be able to have fun in sharing rooms with a friend of the opposite-sex.
However, in fact, there are the cons, such as canceling sharing rooms once you or your friend gets a girl/boy-friend. In that case, we recommend a sharehouse that you can keep your private space.
You can find out the time period recommended for moving into a share house and the things you need in the following article. If you are interested in living in a sharehouse, please refer to the article.
